Added: Bryn Kornegay - Date: 25.11.2021 15:31 - Views: 42577 - Clicks: 4883
A woman I was interviewing recently told me that a few months into a promising relationship, the man she was seeing suddenly stopped answering her texts. Worried, she sent him an and then tried calling him, with the same : No reply. Then she discovered that she was also blocked from his social media.
What had happened? She had just experienced ghostingthe increasingly common social phenomenon of being dropped without a word of explanation. Like many women in this situation, she first tried to figure out what she had done to cause the problem. And then she realized it was not her fault. Why do they behave like this in relationships? Following MeToo and all of the current What men are of male behavior, I have heard variations of this question frequently: Why are men so controlling, so unrelated, so unfeeling?
It might seem like a simple question, but the answer is complicated.
One of the difficulties, she told us, is that men are not so clear about what it means to be a good guy. When I interviewed a group of men about MeToo, they agreed that men need to change, and were actually more critical than women of aggressive and rude actions by other men. This man, like Anna Sale, is referring to what social scientists call social context.
They write that some men who hurt others, whether intentionally or not, are simply not good people but others are good people who, for a variety of reasons, engage in not-good behavior. A lack of emotion, we communicate to boys from an early age, is the path to power, strength, authority and control — all traits we still identity positively with masculinity.
As long as some men in powerful positions act as though abuse and power-mongering is their right, others will follow in their footsteps. So, what can we do about it? Several of the men I spoke with said that we need to begin to educate boys about feelings and empathy from an early age — which, I agree, is an excellent idea.
But until that happens, women might consider how we choose to react, which is really the only thing in our control. And in the case of ghosting, or otherwise being dropped by someone with whom you thought you had a relationship. And second, that there are men out there who do not buy into the popular image of masculinity as unfeeling and unconnected.
So, maybe see if you can let yourself get to know a couple of men who are a little — can I say? Those What men are need to be sought out and celebrated. The more we reinforce the positive, the more likely they will become the role models for other men. IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser.
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Follow think. Diane Barth, psychotherapist. Toxic masculinity in boys is fueling an epidemic of loneliness Jan. Opinion Men are experiencing a crisis of masculinity. The solution? More feminism. Opinion Does power damage male brains? MeToo prompts us to examine the motivations of abusers. Diane Barth.What men are
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